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a scene for the beach

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heres a scene i came up with possibly for something
give me some feedback
:)

title: none
genre: uhm..a scene. yep
rating: g unless youre a pickle!

They’re walking down a stretch of beach, gentle wind ruffles their hair, playfully. She looks at him, as he stares out over the ocean to his right.
“are you looking at the waves come in?” she squeezes his hand lightly.
“no, not really, I used to. I like to look at the way that the sky meets the horizon.” he looks at her and tilts his head to one side, squeezing back.
“what do you mean? what about it?”
“its unreachable, its untraceable, and its real. it’s a figure, something we can see. Yet, we’ll never be able to go past it. And my mind likes to wonder if it’s a limit, because humanity isn’t supposed to have limits.”
Taking his hand from hers he traces his finger across the horizon, closing one eye and turning to her.
“we’re supposed to be the ones who can make definitions for ourselves. The waves WILL roll in, the sun WILL set, the days WILL pass, but, somehow, we can travel all we want, and never reach that line, never go past it.”
She thinks for a moment, still strolling unnoticing that he stopped to look at the horizon. She turns back to him, looking at his features. His soft brown hair contrasting fair skin stretched over a sharp frame. Every angle is acute, every motion seemingly planned. He scans the edge of reason with his eyes.
“Is everything we do limited like that or is there a world past the horizon that we just can’t see?” he says, turning to her. She is the exact opposite of him standing there; all curves and every line blends into one another.
They look at each other for a moment and she smiles.
“to me, it doesn’t matter if there’s a world there or not. What matters to me is whether or not we are making the best of ours. You’re a dreamer, like me, so lets just imagine the life beyond the horizon for now. We’ll go there someday.” she takes his hand, and smiles with her eyes. He looks into hers and a pause, then he softens, smiling.
“you’re right,” he kisses her hand, “you’re always right. I’m the scientific one and you’ve got all the facts…that’s why I love you.” he squeezes her hand and they kiss softly, and turn to walk on down the beach.

yay!
Current Mood:
happy happy
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On November 22nd, 2004 02:46 pm (UTC), masako commented:
It's a beautiful scene, and you use some nice imagery to accentuate the concepts, which by the way, are very real and very elegant.

Gramatically speaking, it could use a lot of work. Try some sentence and dialogue variations. Talk to me about it if you want.
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[User Picture]
On November 22nd, 2004 03:49 pm (UTC), liteinthewindow commented:
thank you, thats what i wanted, it is justa rough sketch of a scene and i mainly focused on the dialougue instead of working out the grammatical kinks. i'd love to go over it though.
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