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The · Exquisiteness · of · Idiom · and · Expression


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ahhh...I screwed my first post up :( sorry. (Ignore it please, or maybe delete it, I don't know how...) ok, I'm introducing myself now: My name's Kate, I eat paper and I'm 16 XI'M HARDCOREX My favorite writers are John Steinbeck, Walt Whitman, Sylvia PLath, William Faulkner, Chuck P., Emily Dickinson, Robert Lowell, etc. I don't do anything.

Name of Piece: I don't have one yet
Genre: Drama?
Rating: PG


Crouched,
In my small form
Trying to melt away
Or scatter into tiny ants
Crawling into walls, loosing themselves
In cracked bark
And feeding off the microscopic leavings
of a well-mannered family’s early lunch.

You come by, silently and stand
As usual, right above me, shadowing
My view and looking down in a disapproving stare
But then with a sly grin,
You creep beside me
Moving my limbs about and my head--
Trying to position and prop me
Just how you want, in the perfect place
For the picture you have stuck
in your mind, too bitter to erase

Slipping your arm around my back, you say,
“I there’s anything you need,”
Lifting my shirt and running your
Anxious hand up my side,
“You know I’m always here right?”

I bare my desperate smile, node, tip
And fall, a giant tree,
Cracking my head, an open cantaloupe.
My thoughts pouring out, stain your hands
And like fire—it burns you.


Squeezing yourself into the small
Crevasse between cold steel
And I, you run
Thoughts through your mind and fingers
Through your hair

Your comments
On the color of my nails
And the length of my hair
Stun me. It pinches me
To know you see my eyes
But still sit
Beside my trembling body expecting
Something more
Than a clear, dull silence
Or a weak scream echoing.
Current Mood:
sad sad
Current Music:
The Pax Cecilia-Churchfield
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[User Picture]
On November 18th, 2004 03:08 pm (UTC), masako commented:
I really love the imagery in the 2, 3, and 4 stanzas. It paints a really vivid picture.

Pick a title by finding one aspect of the poem you'd like to show. If you tell us what aspect you want to show most, maybe we could help.

Welcome to the group, by the way. =) We're glad to have you. Keep posting and reviewing other people's work, and it will be a good time.
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[User Picture]
On November 19th, 2004 10:21 pm (UTC), liteinthewindow commented:
i agree
so far i really liked what you wrote. it feels a bit scattered but just write down what you want, and we're all ehre to give feedback.
picking a title does help, it centers the thoughts
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